Between Fear and Ecstasy
by CoWz-In-GrAsS
Summary: Mello can be a right little punk sometimes, but the only thing worse than his obnoxious antics could be his lover Near... when he's angry Mello X Near yaoislash My first attempt at Death Note fanfiction or slash so please be nice... Chapters 2 and 3 up!
1. Chapter 1: Mello's Night Out

Between Fear and Ecstasy

A/N: This is my first Death Note fanfic, let alone my first slash so please be nice. I accept criticism, but please don't flame. Anyway, this story came to me after three weeks of role-play with my friend. We'd go around ranting about how we're cheating on each other. It was fun. Anywho, I thought it would be cool to have a Death Note fanfiction based off of it. This story is Near X Mello. Also, it is AU, but the characters are the same. Keep in mind, there will be slightly graphic sex scenes (first time writing about that too). So yeah… lets start the fic!

Chapter 1: Mello's Night Out

At approximately midnight, the door to 69 Parkins Street swung open. A man of twenty or so years stormed in. Though the door had swung with great force, he did nothing to stop it; thus it crashed into the wall and ricocheted back several inches. The corresponding sound was a loud thump. The man walked in several feet and reached for the light switch. But the gesture was unnecessary for the living room lamp suddenly flickered to life. The light lit up the man's features. He was rather short, blond, and had a sharp face.

"Mello?" called a familiar voice from the living room.

"Yes?" the blond man answered back. He smiled, recognizing his lover's calm, male voice. Mello walked into the room neglecting the open door that was letting in the nighttime chill.

When Mello peered into the living room he saw his lover curled in a comfortable chintz chair with one leg held close to his chest. The slightly younger male's hair was curly and scruffy. He was wrapping a lock of white hair around his finger when he looked up at Mello. Mello's gut told him that something wasn't right about the way his lover was looking at him. "Near, is something wrong?" he asked.

"Brilliant deduction Mello. You told me that once you got out of work you would come straight home. But here you are, three and twenty minutes late. May I ask what you were doing?" Near asked with a calm tone. However, several syllables were said with a hint of aggravation. Mello knew he was in trouble.

"Look, I don't know what the big deal was, I just went to a party, that's all. Matt called me up and offered me a ticket to a club, I couldn't say no!" Mello responded.

"So you can't say no to Matt, but you can say no to me?" Near asked as he pulled out a Gundam model and started to play with it.

"I didn't say no to you," Mello answered.

"No, you're right. You just lied to me," said Near.

"Look, I came home right, so what's the big deal?" Mello shrugged. "We can have sex some other time."

"To be honest, I really don't care if we have sex. I asked you to be home, and you said you would," Near's tone had not changed.

"I'm sorry, okay, let's just go to bed," Mello suggested. The blond walked past his lover.

Mello stopped in his tracks when he felt a hand on his back.

"I'm not done talking to you yet," Near said, this time his voice was full of ice.

"C'mon lighten up, I was just having a little fun," Mello said as he shrugged off the other boy's arm. This time, he felt a second of tension in the air as he felt both of his lover's arms come crashing down on his shoulders.

Mello whirled around to find Near grabbing his velvet jacket and wrinkling the fabric. More shocking than the sudden violent gesture was the look he gave Mello. Normally Near's eyes had a slightly dull, bored look to them, although there was something intelligent in their pupils. When they made love, those same eyes filled with a fiery passion that directed the rest of his forceful movements. But now, Near's eyes were dark and menacing. They were fueled with the same fire they had during sex, but now they were full of anger. Mello was beginning to get scared.

Near pushed hard and both men toppled to the floor with a loud clatter. The white-haired boy began to rip at Mello's clothes.

"St-stop it Mello! I don't want to do this-…" he began, but Near cut him off by bending down and roughly inserting his tongue into his mouth. Mello coughed, choking on saliva, but he did not try to force Near out. The hands that were groping along Near's soft, wrinkly shirt were now tearing at the garment. After a few seconds of struggle, Mello tore the clothing off Near as he stared at his bare, pale stomach.

Mello hadn't really noticed that he now lay under Near naked. His designer clothes were torn to pieces. They sat useless at his side. He'd have to buy new ones later, but right then and there, he was torn between pure terror and sexual pleasure.

Suddenly, Near bit down on Mello's lip, causing blood to fall into both boys' mouths. Mello let out a moan as he jerked his head up. The pain from his lip was sharp, yet he wanted more. Near gave a rough thrust and Mello flipped onto his stomach. Near had never acted like this before. Every time they made love, he was always on the bottom, Mello preferring to dominate and drive. Yet as he felt Near enter him, he thought that if it were under different circumstances, he would be enjoying it whole-heartedly. When Mello looked up into his partner's eyes, they were filled with malice. Those eyes were not passionate at all, and that was what scared him the most.

After an hour of sex, Near got off Mello and went to their bedroom without a word. Mello just lay on his stomach, breathing in great gasps. His body had a few fresh cuts and his head was still buzzing, both from hormones and the alcohol he had consumed at the party. The evening felt like a dream. It was hard for Mello to realize that just a few hours ago he was at a party drinking shots and smoking his foreign cigarettes. The luminous clock on the table read three A.M. Mello got up reluctantly and went to the bedroom. He reached over and flipped on the light switch, the objects in the room casting dark shadows on the wall. Near's body lay haphazardly across the black, silk sheets. His hand lay under his head, wrapped around a lock the color of snow. Near slept peacefully almost child-like. It was hard to imagine that twenty minutes ago his lover was caught in a flurry of anger and testosterone.

_Near will be fine tomorrow, he was just acting crazy…_Mello thought as he flipped the light switch off once more and crawled to the other side of the bed. He wrapped his arms around his lover's soft, thin body and quickly fell asleep. Mello's dreams were soothing enough and he slept throughout the night. It was almost as if the frightening encounter with Near never happened. But he would always remember that night: Near made sure of it.

A/N: All right, that was probably terrible, but what can I say, I've never written a lemon before. Please review… thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2: The Morning After

Between Fear and Ecstasy

A/N: I got some reviews, I'm so happy. I don't really mind if I don't get a lot of reviews, it doesn't really bother me. When you think about it, the more reviews you have, the more likely it is that one of them is a flame. Or at least that's the way I put it. Anyway, onto the fic! By the way, this is AU.

Chapter 2: The Morning After

Near's eyes fluttered open slowly when he heard the obnoxious beeping of his alarm clock. He sat up and realized that he had been sleeping sideways across the bed spread. Near also saw Mello snoozing like a child. Mello looked slightly uncomfortable squished in a small corner of the king-sized bed. Near smirked; his lover slept like a baby. No matter how uncomfortable or loud it was, Mello could sleep. It was absolutly adorable. Near took another glance at his lover and he felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him. What could he have possibly done before he went to bed last night? Near couldn't remember. He was scared that he had hurt Mello. Looking at the clock again, he realized that he was off schedule. He would need to get ready for work or he would be late. Near had the feeling that Mello would preoccupy his thoughts all day.

The white haired boy quickly jumped into the shower. He didn't care if it was cold; in fact he liked his showers that way. Near could sometimes be described as cold and unemotional by those who knew him least, like the quick freezing downpour that fell over his eyes. Well, he had to be, he was a detective. One couldn't be emotional and cry whenever a murderer turns out to be some quiet boy that way beaten as a child.

There was no "good cop, bad cop" scenario. Near was what he was.

Turning the shower off Near stepped out of the tub onto a red towel. To his surprise, someone else was in the bathroom with him.

"Mello." Near said simply, looking at his partner with his typical business-like stare.

"Look Near, I know you're angry… I didn't mean it, I'll try harder to be home earlier. I'll even let you be _seme_," Mello apologized.

"Huh? When have I ever been _seme_?" Near asked.

"Last night when you got mad… don't you remember?" Mello asked, confused that his partner didn't remember.

"I remember getting mad then going to bed? Did we have sex?" Near asked.

"But before that, we hit it! You were _seme _too. Why don't you remember?" Mello asked.

"I think you're messing around with me again! Like when you say you'll come home on time! Are you just messing with me Mello?" Near shouted.

"Will you calm down? I told you what happened! Why are being so… so emotional?" Mello asked with disbelief. Near was always cool and collected no matter what. Now he was melting right before his eyes. "Look Near, I must have been dreaming… I'm sorry." Mello avoided his lovers eyes.

"That's okay." Near said simply. He turned around for a minute as he put his clothes on. He turned back, fully dressed in a suit and tie, while Mello was in his favorite silk pajamas.

"Mello, when did you get here?" Near asked as he walked out the bathroom door. Mello stood in shock and confusion as he watched his lover's back gracefully disappear down the stairs.

-

Mello drove to the _Miriyama Strip Club _and pulled into the 'Reserved: Employee' parking slot. He walked in through the back entrance and wandered into the dressing room with the other men.

"Hi Mello," a red head with a cigarette in his mouth waved from across the room.

"Hey Matt," Mello answered rather coldly, he was angry at Matt for telling him about the party, then he and Near could have had a pleasant night.

"Did Near tear ya a new one for being out late again?" Matt asked with a laugh. He looked ridiculous, acting like the office douchebag in a pink dress and fake tits.

"Something like that," Mello bitterly answered.

"Oh, sorry to hear that. Well, I'm gonna go get my makeup on. Later," said Matt.

"Grr…"

-

Near was having an off day too…

He had way to many cases that no one else wanted, so they gave them all to him. During his midmorning break, he spilled coffee all over his hand.

"**Fuck!**" he shouted.

"Sounds like somebody's having a case of the Mondays," (I do not own _Office Space_) Eveline, the annoying desk cop laughed. Her nasally voice irritated him. He squeezed his paper cup into a ball and violently threw it in the wastebasket. The coffee still corroded on his flesh. Everything was just too much effort.

_I hate being a prodigy…_

-

"And now for our final act our charming young fellow, the lovely MelloYellow!" an announcer called from some unknown sound station. His accented voice traveled across the theater and to the stage. Mello waltzed out in a yellow sundress and hat. He did his little turns on the catwalk (don't own _I'm too sexy) _and danced back. Suddenly, he dropped his yellow handkerchief and bent down slowly; exposing cute pink panties with _Mello_ embroidered in big bold letters, a bright shade of yellow. He blushed and waved before prancing offstage to join the other guys in the dressing room.

-

At lunch, Near walked to a nearby bookstore to get some coffee at their _Starbucks_. He walked through the aisles and went to the _Male Pornography _section (do they even have one of those?). He skimmed through several magazines and then saw the one he was looking for. He vaguely remembered Mello telling him he was on the cover of some magazine. It was _Dirty Casanova_ issue No. 69. Mello stood larger than life over headline and other titles. He was in his regular gothic look, even though for work he wore what they gave him (typically yellow). He had one hand down his pants and wore a "you know you want me" look on his face. Ah what the hell, he might as well buy it; Mello would probably go nuts when he showed him. Near felt that he had to do something nice for his lover. It was like he was a very picky rabbit.

Near made his way up to the register. He glanced at the checkout concessions and his eyes immediately fell on a box of _Godiva _(don't own that either) chocolates. He had to buy them for Mello. He imagined Mello jumping up and down; they were his favorites after all. The store clerk gave him a surprised look as he threw down his porno and chocolate as he got out his wallet. The clerk saw the tip of a condom wrapper peaking out of the strange man's wallet.

"C- Come again sir," the clerk stuttered.

"Thanks." Near said as he walked out of the double doors and into the sunshine.

-

Later that night:

Mello and Near got home at 7 o'clock. They both felt sort of awkward. There was a stiff and obvious tension throughout the house. The two ate a light supper and congregated to the living room. Mello curled up in a chair. Near lounged on the sofa. He decided now would be a good time to show Mello his surprise.

"Mello, I went to the bookstore today and bought some… stuff."

"Stuff?" Mello asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Yes. Stuff." Near replied, pulling out his plastic bag of hope and wonder (and porn). He pulled out the glossy _Dirty Casanova_ and chocolates.

"Oh my god are those chocolates for me?" Mello asked, his eyes widening.

"Yes and _this _is for me," Near answered, showing Mello the cover.

"You went to the gay porn section just to get me?" Mello shouted with glee as he leapt out of the chintz chair.

"Sort of, I wanted to see how hot you are on camera too…"

"Oh Near, you rock my socks off!"

"I hope that is not all we rock tonight."

"You know it. You want to be _seme_?" Mello asked. "I owe you, do you accept it in ass?"

"You bet, I always wanted to try this…"

Mello, laughed uncomfortably, but Near was already taking his pants off.

-

Okay… that was very difficult for me to write. There wasn't any lemon in this one, but we get to see Mello in a yellow sundress. MelloYellow was something my boyfriend told me. Apparently there was a rumor that smoking a banana peel can make you high. There was a song called Mellow Yellow written about it. I think it was _The Beatles_. I can't remember. Anywho, I hope _Dirty Casanova _isn't an actual porno… that would make me sad…


	3. Chapter 3: As Time Passes

Between Fear and Ecstasy

AN: Hi guys, sorry I haven't posted in a while. I'm writing this moments after I posted chapter two. I've been really, busy and completely forgot about this story. I really hope you guys like chapter two. I did my best. There will probably be some lemon in this chapter.

Chapter 3: As Time Passes

Several weeks of solid romance had passed with only several incidents between Mello and Near. Every once in a while, Mello would irritate Near and the pale faced boy would snap, his eyes switching from dull to dark. But Mello always apologized immediately.

Still, something bothered Mello. Whenever Near snapped, he would always forget what had happened. It reminded him of when he happened upon Near in the shower the morning after their first incident. Mello knew he signs of many relationship problems. Unfortunately, Near was starting to become the very thing Mello was afraid of. He was becoming a controlling lover. Though Near had never struck him or been physical, Mello was still dissatisfied with their relationship. Only he didn't want to admit it.

-

Near drove his car to the strip club and parked into a slot near the back entrance. The security guard stopped him and asked if he was allowed to be in the dressing area. Near explained that he was MelloYellow's bitch. Just as the words came out of his lips, Near heard a familiar voice from beyond he open door.

"Near?!" Mello gasped and bounded over to his lover. The security guard moved out of the way and let Near in.

Mello jumped up into Near's Arms, his legs, against his lover's sides. The two kissed, getting plenty of applause and cheers from the stripper's colleagues.

"What are you doing here. I thought you had to work tonight?" Mello pondered. Staring directly into Near's eyes. Right now his eyes told of some surprise that Near couldn't wait to unveil.

"Since I'm doing so well at work, I asked the boss to give me the day off. He said 'Anything for my prodigy' and sent me on my way! I made reservations at that new Italian place for seven, so lets go," Near said.

"Okay. But how many times did you have to blow he chief to get him to give you the day off?" Mello laughed.

Near put Mello down and looked straight into his lover's eyes.

"I didn't sleep with him," he said, completely serious.

"Oh, I'm just kidding. Let's go or we'll miss our reservation!" Mello said as he ran out the door, feeling a little worried that his lover didn't catch the joke.

-

Dinner was going very well for the first half hour of the meal. Near and Mello talked about their jobs, new sex positions they had heard about, and some gossip about friends. They munched on meatballs and drank nice wine, while very happy with the other's company.

Out of the blue, a light-haired man approached the table.

"Mello, is that you?" he asked.

"Light?!" Mello replied, with pleasant surprise.

"Oh my gosh, how have you been?" Light asked. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

"I've been busy. This is my new lover, Near. He's a detective," Mello answered, gesturing to Near. Near was as stiff as a board.

"How do you do, I'm Light Yagami," Light greeted, holding out his hand. Near shook unenthusiastically.

"I'm Near."

"Anyway Mello, I'm writing a new novel now. It's called 'Death Note'," Light said as he turned his attention back to Mello. Near glared at Light's back.

"It probably won't sell, like your other book, _Harry Potter_," Mello teased.

"Well, I'd probably better get going, my girlfriend is waiting for me," Light said, pointing to a girl with pigtails and gothic clothes, with a trace of false enthusiasm in his voice.

-

Once Light had returned to his own table, Near gave Mello a questioning look.

"T-That was Light Yagami he was my old college roommate and… former lover," Mello said, sensing the awkwardness in the situation.

"Was he ever _seme_?" Near huffed.

"Yes. He was always on top," Mello replied. The two ate the rest of their meatballs in silence.

-

On the ride home, Mello felt that it was necessary to explain why Light and he broke up.

"Look Near, Light and I broke up because he was too caught up in his own life to be with me. It was always his books first and me second. Also, he didn't accept me as I was. He also wouldn't let me work in the club. He made me get some goddamn desk job. When I lost my job, he left me out on the street. I hated him for a long time. He apologized to me a few years ago and asked me out again. I said no, because I had already found my Mr. Right. That was you Near. I still haven't forgiven him for what he did to me. I would never go back to him. Never," Mello explained, looking at his clenched hands resting in his lap.

"Why haven't you ever told me, Mello?" Near asked.

"I didn't want to bother you," Mello answered.

Near pulled into the parking space outside their house. Mello moved to open the door. Near grabbed his head and brought it close to is own. Mello smiled when he saw the burning passion in his eyes that conveniently meant lots of sox.

-

The two kissed and hugged for several minutes before the car lights went off. Near began to run his hands over Mello's frame. Mello began to move into the back seat, pulling Near by his neck tie. Near obliged and followed Mello. He began to take his belt off. Mello was helping him unbutton his pants.

While Mello was pulling his pants and shirt off, Near hastily grabbed the condom from his wallet and applied it properly. He hadn't been on top for a while, it was a nice change.

The two met at the lips and began their kissing and groping process gain, rekindling their old fire. Near grabbed his lover and quickly flipped him over. Mello smiled and looked over his shoulder as his partner began to enter him. Mello turned away with pleasure when he felt his partner. After several thrusts, Near exited him and just lay on top of him. Both men were panting and sweating, neither wanted to get off the other. They lay there for several minutes until Mello tried to sit up. Suddenly, Mello heard soft snores from above him. Mello smiled and laid back down.

_It's only for the night…_Mello thought as he fell asleep to his lover's snores, believing that to be the most enchanting sound in the world.


End file.
